"Like The Ents"
Legolas visits the Shire and learns more than he actually wanted to know about Hobbits.
Author: Grey Wonderer
Rating: R
'It is rather a strange and sad story,' he went on after a pause. 'When the world was young, and the woods were wide and wild, the Ents and the Entwives - and there were Entmaidens then: ah! The loveliness of Fimbrethil, of Wandlimb the lightfooted, in the days of our youth! - they walked together and they housed together. But our hearts did not go on growing in the same way...
-J.R.R. Tolkien The Two Towers: Treebeard
*****
"Legolas!" The joy in the hobbit's voice was unmistakable and his eyes sparkled as he stood and ran to meet his friend. "It's been far too long! I was just telling Frodo here that it had been too long, wasn't I, Frodo?"
Frodo laughed. "You were indeed, Faramir." The second hobbit held out a hand and clasped the elf's hand tightly in greeting. Legolas smiled at him and as he released Frodo's hand he sat down in the grass tailor fashion before the two beaming hobbits. He surveyed them and was, for just a moment, saddened to see the signs of the passing years on their faces. He quickly put this aside and moved on to other more pleasing aspects of their appearance. Faramir Took stood rocking on his heels and grinning in a fashion that reminded Legolas so very much of Peregrin Took, Faramir's father. Strange really because Faramir didn't look at all like Peregrin in any way physical save for his bright green eyes and a bit of extra height. Still, Faramir had his father's mannerisms. The years had been kind to Faramir and in spite of the fact that the hobbit was nearly eighty he still looked in good health. The laugh lines at the corners of his eyes and the silver streaks in his dark curls spoke of the passing of time but the merry twinkle in his eyes and the lightness of his step served as reminders that Faramir still had many good years before him.
Legolas shifted his gaze to Frodo Gamgee Gardener and his smile became even wider. The hobbit was a mirror image of his father, Samwise Gamgee save for the startlingly blue eyes and dark brow curls. He had Sam's smile, Sam's nose, and was built very like Sam had been. He had both hands in his trouser pockets and his waistcoat was unbuttoned allow his ample midsection room to spread. His hair was also streaked with ribbons of silver just as Faramir's was but Legolas was relieved to see very little of the stiffness of age in the hobbit's movements as Frodo sat down on the grass before him.
"When we received word that you would be coming, it was rather like hearing from Father somehow," Faramir smiled.
"Faramir," Frodo frowned.
"I know, I know that father and Uncle Merry are gone. I'm not losing my mind," Faramir huffed and dropped to the grass like a pouting child. "It's only that hearing from Legolas brought back all of Father's stories and gave me a feeling that I hadn't felt in some time."
"It has been a long while since we've had any contact with anyone outside of the Shire," Frodo said with a sigh. He reached over and took Faramir's hand in his and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "We do miss so much by isolating ourselves. Sadly, I've no wish to see other lands or to travel beyond the Shire."
"No matter, dearest," Faramir smiled. "I do feel something call me away from time to time. I suspect that all Tooks do, but you will forever ground me and keep me where I ought to be." He put Frodo's hand to his lips and lightly kissed it. He then looked up at Legolas and said, "I do wish you'd come more often."
"Alas, Gimli cannot travel as easily as he once did," Legolas said the sorrow evident in his voice.
Faramir and Frodo exchanged looks of sympathy and nodded as if they were one hobbit rather than two. "You two have been together for so long. It will be very hard for you," Faramir sighed.
"When Gimli is ready he and I will go together to the undying lands," Legolas said strongly. "All shall be as the Valar intends it. Gimli has been a good friend and he and I will go on together."
"I don't think I should last here alone without Faramir," Frodo said looking intently at his long-time companion.
"I am not going anywhere," Faramir said firmly. "You shall have my company and anything else of me that you desire for as long as you desire it." He winked.
Legolas looked curious for a moment as if only just realizing something. "Faramir, has Goldilocks," he paused. "Has she gone on?"
"Oh, my yes," Faramir said smiling slightly. "Some years past now."
"I am sorry," Legolas said softly. "I did not realize."
"It has been some time since we've seen you after all," Frodo reminded that elf.
"I have been absent too long," Legolas sighed. "I forget that time passes more swiftly for hobbits and for all mortals. Perhaps I forget this fact because I want it not to be so. It is very difficult to say good bye to those you love when their time in Middle Earth has-"
"Oh stars!" Faramir broke in quickly. "You must think that Goldie died!"
"Well, you said that she had gone," Legolas reminded him looking rather confused.
"Oh, she's gone," Faramir said with a sigh. "She left the Shire some years back. She hasn't died as far as I know though I really couldn't say for sure as I've not heard from her since she left."
"She left the Shire?" Legolas looked amazed. Very few hobbits ever decided to leave the Shire even in this age. Legolas was very startled by this news.
"Yes, she wished to go and I had no argument that would hold her here," Faramir said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"It was for the best really," Frodo put in giving Faramir's hand a squeeze. "Now Faramir and I don't have to be at all discreet. We can be together openly."
Legolas tried not to let his surprise show. "The two of you are, together as a couple?"
"Oh, there are some that say our age difference is a problem," Faramir said with a wave of his free hand while Frodo scowled at him. "But I don't mind at all that Frodo is older. I don't worry about our future because I quite intend for Frodo to be with me all of my days. I shall do as my father did. I will go when Frodo is ready. I know that father simply could not continue on without Uncle Merry. It will be the same with us."
Frodo's scowl softened and he mumbled, "I am not that much older." Legolas was reminded again of Sam when Frodo spoke. He smiled at the memory for a second before returning his mind to the other, more startling matter.
Legolas was attempting to digest this news and deciding in what way to question the Hobbits further when two other hobbits walked past arms entwined about one another and heads close together. They were whispering and neither looked up as they passed. Faramir smiled at Frodo and said, "I told you they'd patch things up."
"Well, I only wish they would quit arguing about silly things," Frodo said shaking his head. "It is so unbecoming for two lads nearly of age to be constantly fighting in public. I'm not the only one that grows weary of their quarrels."
Faramir shrugged. "They're young, Frodo. They've no idea how they look to others. Besides, I suspect that they are very much in love."
Legolas looked after the two Hobbits that had just passed them. "Is one of them your son?" he asked Faramir.
"No, I have no sons that young," Faramir smiled. "My own lads are all settled. They are both quite happy with the partners they've chosen."
"You've grandchildren then?" Legolas said returning Faramir's smile.
"No, none of that," Faramir said. "My lads take after me. They both fancy other lads so naturally there are no grandchildren." Faramir smiled. "It might have been nice to be a grandfather. I know my own father enjoyed it but I would not have either of them unhappy even if it meant grandchildren."
"And you, Frodo?"
"Oh, no, Legolas," Frodo said, his eyes rather sad. "I've no grandchildren that I know of. My three daughters left the Shire along with Goldilocks. I suppose that I may have grandchildren and heirs somewhere but I doubt that I shall ever see them. Faramir may have a few as well. His daughter also lives outside of the Shire now."
"She didn't go with her mum," Faramir said. "She stayed a while longer than some of the others. I do miss her but I suppose that she had her reasons for going."
Legolas looked around. His vision was far better than that of the Hobbits. He was beginning to realize that he had not seen a single female hobbit since he'd arrived. He furrowed his brow slightly, a habit that he'd got in recent years from watching Gimli. "Did all of the lasses leave?"
Faramir nodded. "I'm afraid so. I am perplexed by it all. They simply weren't happy and we were unable to persuade them to remain here any longer once they'd made up their minds."
"But why?" Legolas asked.
Faramir smiled nervously and shrugged.
"They said that they didn't feel needed," a voice from behind the elf said. Legolas turned and looked toward the speaker.
"Hello, dear friend," the hobbit said and Legolas now recognized Bilbo Gamgee-Gardener. "Are these two old queens refusing to answer your questions, Legolas?"
"Who are you calling old?" Faramir demanded looking offended.
"Why the two of you, naturally," Bilbo laughed and he joined them on the grass. "I was telling Tag the other day how dreary and old my brother Frodo and his lover were becoming." He winked at Legolas. "Tag and I are ever so much younger and so much more entertaining than these two. They are so settled and so very dull. Why I suspect that they do little more than hold hands these days."
"Then you suspect wrong," Frodo said putting an arm about Faramir. "Even after all these years, I still can't keep my hands off of this one."
"And rightly so," Faramir bragged. "I am a splendid figure of a hobbit and any lad would be proud to call me his own."
Bilbo snorted, rolled his eyes and then grinned at Legolas. "So you're wondering about all of this are you?" He waved one hand through the air in a gesture that was meant to encompass the entire Shire.
"I am a bit surprised," Legolas said slowly. "I had thought that Hobbits valued family, home, and children."
"Oh, we still do after our own fashion," Bilbo explained. "Now, we are just more honest and more open than our fathers before us."
"Yes, surely you knew about Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee," Faramir said airily.
"Knew what?" Legolas frowned.
"Why they were lovers," Faramir said looking surprised. "You didn't know that?"
"But Sam married," Legolas objected.
"That's precisely what I mean," Bilbo said. "They had to hide their feelings in public. Our father loved Frodo Baggins like he loved no other. I suppose he loved our mother in the way that one loves a dear friend, but Frodo was father's soul mate. It was Frodo that made his heart beat and filled him with complete joy."
"I did not know, but now that you say this I can recall several times when looks passed between them," Legolas said remembering and feeling oddly surprised that he had never gleaned the meaning of it all before this.
"That isn't all that passed between them," Faramir laughed.
"Behave," Frodo chided though only half-heartedly. "My father loved Frodo but he saw it as his duty to marry and to have children."
"Lots of children," Faramir smirked.
"You are lucky that he didn't stop after only one like your father did," Frodo said smiling.
"I am indeed," Faramir said leaning his head against Frodo's shoulder and then looking at Legolas. "I guess you knew about my father and Uncle Merry though didn't you? I mean you did spend time with them in Minas Tirith in their final years and all."
"Yes, but I thought that their relationship was simply because they were the only two hobbits in the city," Legolas said. "I knew both had been married and raised families in the Shire. We all suspected that they were drawn together because they were alone and needed comfort."
"They were drawn together from the time my father was twenty-three," Faramir chuckled. " My father, or so the story goes, found Uncle Merry asleep by the river bank. Being careful not to wake him, father completely undressed and stood there in front of Merry. When Merry woke my father was the first sight he beheld. They say that Uncle Merry was so enamored of father that he pulled him down and took him right there on the bank of the Brandywine. Several times or so the story goes."
Legolas's eyes were wide with surprise. "But both married." It was all he could think to say in the face of this revelation.
"True," Faramir nodded. "Aunt Estella didn't realize that Uncle Merry was only keeping up appearances but my mum knew about my father."
"Everyone in the Shire knew about your father," Frodo laughed.
Faramir grinned. "Father was not one to hide his inclinations. He had very little self-control in such matters. In fact he bedded most of the lads in the Shire but Uncle Merry was the love of his life. Father was very fortunate in that Uncle Merry allowed this sort of thing. Father did as he pleased with whoever it was that pleased him but he always returned to Uncle Merry and Uncle Merry was always waiting."
"And your mother did not find this at all distressing?" Legolas wondered aloud.
"No, not at all," Faramir said. "She knew exactly what my Father's inclinations were all along and she was happy with that. She wanted a child but she was a rather cold lass I'm told and she had little use for my Father in the bedroom. Every male in the Shire seemed to find him worthy but my Mother wasn't interested. I think she was pleased that he was otherwise attended to. That is why I was so surprised when Goldie reacted as she did. I was unprepared for it."
"Well, she did catch you with her own brother," Bilbo reminded Faramir with a nod toward Frodo.
"That she did," Frodo said with a trace of regret in his voice.
"Now, Frodo," Faramir said gently. "That was as much my doing as it was yours and I was glad that she knew. I didn't want to hurt her but I disliked sneaking about like a couple of criminals."
"Still, she was my sister," Frodo said wistfully. "She still is my sister if she is still alive yet."
"And my bride," Faramir said softly.
"In the end it was better for her to know," Bilbo said easily. "Perhaps she is happy now where ever she is."
"She left after discovering your secret?" Legolas said.
"No, not then," Faramir said. "She stayed until the children were grown and on their own and then she left. After she found us it was actually better for me because I no longer had to pretend to want sex with her. Before, I had tried my best to service her in the way that pleased her but I had grown tired of the effort. I think she sensed my disinterest. There was only one Hobbit for me and that was Frodo."
"If only one could say the same about Frodo," Bilbo laughed.
"I was young then and I will admit that I had my share of the partners before I settled down with Faramir," Frodo remarked sounding defensive.
"I don't mind," Faramir said. "After all, I spent years being unfaithful myself even after Frodo and I were together. I had no choice but to honor my marriage vows and I had a responsibility to produce an heir. I am the Thain and I had to see to it that there was a Thain to follow in my footsteps."
"But your son has no heir. You said yourself that you have no grandchildren," Legolas said looking worried now.
"I am sad that the great line of Tooks is at an end, but I am also relieved that my son was not forced to do something that he didn't wish to do," Faramir said. "My son was free to find a love of his own choosing. If that love had been a lass then I would not have judged him. I would have accepted his choice and loved him just as I do now. As it is, both of my lads chose partners of the same sex and I am not at all surprised by it. The Took males have always preferred other lads. It is our nature and I am surprised that we denied it for so long."
"Then there are no females or children in the Shire now?" Legolas asked.
"None," Frodo said softly.
"Do you realize what that means?" Legolas asked the sadness in his eyes deepening.
"We do indeed," Bilbo said. "We know that soon there will be no more hobbits in the Shire and no more Shire. The earth will reclaim the Shire and it will grow over and soon no one will remember Hobbits or know who dwelt in this place."
"Shouldn't you try to stop that from happening?" Legolas asked. He couldn't imagine a time when Hobbits would not exist. He had known them for some time now and had become very fond of the merry little folk.
"I have no idea how to stop it," Faramir confessed. "As the Thain I suppose that it is my responsibility and I know that if I am remembered by anyone which seems unlikely now, I shall be remembered as the Thain that let the race of Hobbits end."
"You are not accountable for all of that," Frodo said quickly. "Not one among us was able to hold the lasses here. None of us could offer them what they desired."
"Which was?" Legolas wanted to know.
"Male attention," Bilbo said. "To be married to a lad that was satisfied with only her. To have a marriage that wasn't merely a cover for something else."
"Are all male hobbits gay?" Legolas asked.
"If you've read anything at all about hobbits then sooner or later you find the truth of the matter," Faramir said. "Why Frodo Baggins wrote a history of his romance with Sam Gamgee. He wrote down every detail of it and he called it the Blue Book. Some of it has been published here and there but I don't think that the entire book is easily available outside of the Shire. Lads just grow up knowing that these urges will come upon us when we reach our maturity or like my own father, a bit sooner."
"Pippin Took was born with the urge," Bilbo laughed. "They say he was climbing in and out of the beds of other lads long before he set his sights on Merry Brandybuck."
"That is what they say," Faramir grinned proudly.
"What will become of you?" Legolas asked looking stricken.
"I suppose we will grow old and die," Frodo said in a matter-of-fact tone. "When that happens there will be none to take our place and Hobbits will no longer dwell here."
"Still, if our wives and daughters and sisters have found a new life outside of the Shire then perhaps there will be hobbits yet," Faramir said cheerfully.
"Such an optimist," Frodo smiled kissing Faramir on the forehead.
"Well, there are hobbits in Bree," Faramir said lightly.
"Not anymore," Legolas sighed. "It seems that a similar fate befell them as well."
"It did?" Bilbo asked.
"They intermixed," Legolas said with weary look.
"Intermixed?" Faramir frowned.
"The male hobbits of Bree began to enjoy the company of the men of Bree," Legolas explained his voice sounding slightly nervous.
"Frodo Baggins once fancied Lord Aragorn," Faramir nodded. "Father says that Frodo had only to bat an eye lash or two and he was able to have anyone that he wanted. I suppose if the given time men and male hobbits could learn to overcome certain obstacles and enjoy one another's company. Father says that Frodo wasn't at all put off by Aragorn's size or lack of foot hair."
"Lord Aragorn and Frodo Baggins!" Legolas was clearly shocked. He could certainly see how Frodo might have been deeply in love with Sam but, Aragron. That bit of news was most vexing indeed! He would speak to Aragorn upon his return to the White City.
"It didn't last," Frodo Gardner said. "My father put a stop to it as soon as he knew. My Father could be very possessive indeed. Frodo was the sort that enjoyed new experiences which was part of what drew my Father to him to begin with but my Father would not have allowed such a thing to continue indefinitely. Aragorn was merely a dalliance for Frodo. There was talk that Frodo shagged Lord Boromir as well. Pippin liked to tell us that Frodo promised Boromir that he would consider giving him the Dark Lord's Ring if Boromir satisfied him. Apparently Frodo was not all that satisfied because Boromir didn't get the Ring."
Legolas shivered. It wasn't from the cold because Elves are very rarely cold. He tried to turn his mind away from the image of Boromir and Frodo and most assuredly away from the thoughts of Aragorn and Frodo. His eyes suddenly misted over and he said in a voice that sounded must calmer than he felt, "This is not the first time a thing of this sort has befallen a race."
"It isn't?" all of the Hobbits spoke as one.
"No," Legolas said. "I know not the full story behind it, but this same thing happen to the Ents."
"The Shepherds of the Trees?" Bilbo said with wonder.
"Their wives left them and never returned," Legolas said. "So few Ents now live in Middle Earth because there can be no young ones."
Faramir nodded gravely. "Father taught me that song about the Ent Wives when I was very small but I didn't realize what it was about until I was much older. I never really give it a thought in relationship to our situation but I suppose that this is very much the same. All of our wives are gone now and we tend to our gardens alone."
"Not alone," Frodo said. "Never alone but with those that we love best and those who love us."
"I should like for there to be hobbits ever in the Shire," Faramir said wistfully. "Legolas if ever you should see any of our lasses would you tell them of the plight of the Shire and ask them if they might consider coming home for a time so there can be children again?"
Legolas nodded. "I will do this if I meet them in my travels."
"Don't promise them anything more than an arrangement of sorts," Frodo said. "This would be just strictly an agreement that would help continue the race and nothing more."
"Yes, it isn't as if we wish things to go back to the way they were or anything," Bilbo said warningly.
"We just wish that Hobbits might continue," Faramir said. "I can't stand the thought that some distant spring there will be no young, tan, hobbit lads shagging on the bank of the Brandywine or snogging in the meadow. It is such a waste."
Bilbo reached over, put a hand on Legolas's thigh and smiled a rather wicked smile. "Tell me again about those Hobbits in Bree and the men. I sometimes think that I might fancy such a relationship if one were to present itself." He winked at Legolas and squeezed the elf's thigh a bit moving his hand upward and he did so. "I've heard tales that even you fell to Frodo's charms a time or two. I suspect that you recall what it's like to be with a Hobbit in a moment of passion."
Legolas paled. He was hoping that bit of history wouldn't come to light. Still, as he looked at Bilbo he was starting to recall how very flexible Frodo had been. Perhaps Gimli wouldn't mind just this once.
The End
G.W. 05/28/2006
