NC-17, in other words, s-e-x.  No slash.

Prisoners of Love



The Sale’s Pitch

Diamond put a hand on Estella’s arm and stopped in her tracks.  Her deep brown eyes were wide with curiosity and she was pointing at a small, rather strange looking shop window.  “What ever is that?” she asked.

Estella squinted her eyes and took a step closer to the shops window and frowned.  “I don’t exactly know,” she said as Diamond moved up even closer to the window and placed her hands against the glass like an eager child.

“See something that interests you?” a voice asked and Estella turned to see a portly, dark-haired hobbit standing in the now open doorway to the shop.

“Oh, my friend and I were just doing a bit of shopping and I must confess that we were a bit curious about your window display,” Estella said as Diamond continued to ogle the item fitted onto the dress-maker’s dummy in the window.

“More than a bit curious, I’d judge,” he laughed looking at Diamond as he spoke.

Estella reached over and tugged on Diamond’s dark curls.  “We should be going.  You have several other items to pick up before evening.  You are getting wed tomorrow, remember?”

“It’s a foundation!” Diamond grinned rocking back on her heels and giving Estella a smug look.  “I knew if I studied it long enough that I’d figure it all out.  It’s a wee bit fancier than some and seems dreadfully sturdy but I dare say it does the job.”

The shopkeeper chuckled.  “Oh, it does the job all right as do all of my items, but I must tell you that it isn’t a foundation.”

“No?” Diamond looked a bit crestfallen.  She had been proud of her guess and was reluctant to let the moment of her triumph pass into failure.

“Why don’t you two lovely lasses join me in the shop and I can explain it to you and perhaps show you a thing or two that might interest you?” the shopkeeper offered with a wave of his hand as he moved to open the door a bit wider.

“I think perhaps another time,” Estella said practically.  “We are in a bit of rush today.”

“Oh, of course, the mentioned wedding,” he nodded.  “Perhaps what I sell isn’t for either of you just yet and most especially the bride to be.”

“Why not?” Diamond frowned taking offense though she didn’t exactly know what he meant by his remarks.

“Well, the items that I sell are of a delicate nature and most traditionally I sell to lasses and gentle hobbits who are somewhat more,” he paused.  “How shall I put it?  Experienced?”  He began to close the door with a kind, if rather patronizing smile on his lips.  “Good day to you both.”

“Now, wait a minute!” Diamond objected hurrying to wedge herself in the door before it could close fully.

“Diamond,” Estella hissed.

“I’m experienced and I’d like to see your wares,” Diamond rushed on.

“I don’t know,” the shopkeeper said with a glance at Estella.  “I don’t think your older sister approves and I wouldn’t want to offend over so small a thing.”

“She isn’t exactly my sister,” Diamond said.  “Besides, I’m to be a married lass in a few hours.  I think that makes me old enough to make my own decisions.  Especially when it comes to shopping!”

“And I am not that old,” Estella frowned.

“Perhaps I should have said, wiser?” the shopkeeper said as Diamond moved past him and into the shop.  He gave a sigh and shrugged his shoulders at Estella.  She frowned but quickly moved toward the shop and followed Diamond inside while the shop’s owner held the door for her and then entered behind her.

“Diamond, if we don’t get you ready for your wedding it is most likely to cause an uproar that will bring the very Shire down!” Estella warned.

Diamond smiled.  “I have a mind to see what sort of items experienced lasses buy from this shop and I am not leaving until I have been treated like a serious customer.”

“Fine, it’s your wedding,” Estella sighed folding her arms over her ample chest and glaring at the shopkeeper.  “Please, by all means do show her whatever she insists upon seeing.”

“Very well,” he smiled.  “Shall we start with the item in the window or has something else caught your eye, Miss?”

“Oh,” Diamond smiled back trying to look knowledgeable and relaxed.  “That will be fine with me.  Show us that interesting item.”

“Excellent choice and most entertaining,” he grinned.  He reached over and turned the dressmaker’s dummy about so that it faced inside the store now.  “This is what we call a virtue protection garment.”

Estella’s eyes widened and she found herself moving in for a closer view of the item.  “There’s a lock on that!”

“There is indeed and a fine, sturdy lock it is too,” he bragged puffing out his round chest as he gave the lock a rather hard tug.  “This will withstand any and all games and entertainment that you care to indulge in and the lock will not pop loose at any point.  I personally guarantee that or you may have your full purchase price returned to you.”

“That seems reasonable,” Diamond said running a hand over the smooth metal surface of the item.

“Diamond,” Estella cautioned.

“What sort of games?” Diamond went on before Estella could say more.

“Oh, well, that would be entirely up to you and your husband to be, Miss,” he smiled.  “This little gem here will be up to all challenge.”

“It will?” Diamond frowned.  She studied the item and even walked completely around the dressmaker’s dummy so that she could see it all properly.  “How does it work?”

“You simply put it on and lock it,” he smiled.  “Then the fun begins.”

“You mean the fun stops,” Estella objected.  “Diamond, if you lock your, well, your virtue up in that device that nothing will be able to get to it, er, you.”

Diamond scratched her head and leaned closer still to the item nearly pressing her nose against it.  “Oh!” she said suddenly and jerked back.  “You mean to say that a lass would willingly lock this onto herself?”  She gently lifted the sturdy heart shaped lock that held the item closed and stood gaping at the shopkeeper.

“Many do, Miss,” he smiled wickedly.  “In fact I sell quite a few of these to lasses who are eager to put a bit of fun into their relationships.”

“I think Estella is quit right,” Diamond said.  “This would take the fun out of things completely.”

“Not if you know how to use it properly,” he challenged.

“Just how do you use this, this, this imprisonment device properly?” Estella wanted to know.

“Well, not to speak indelicately in front of an unwed lass, but this heightens the desire,” he winked.  “You see, many lasses wear them underneath their skirts.  They can’t be seen in that way.  The lass will lock this on and then proceed to tempt her lad with all of her ample charms, kisses, a touch to the right area, giving him a peek at the upper items of interest and then when he is in a near frenzy of desire, he finds his way to her sweetest gift barred.”

Diamond giggled.  “Like a bit of a tease?”

“Exactly!” he smiled.  “You do catch on quickly.”

She glowed with the praise and then frowned.  “Won’t he be upset?”

“Mine would!” Estella said.

“That depends upon your lad and just exactly how much of a sense of adventure he has,” the shopkeeper smiled.  “You would know better than I how he might take this interesting development.  She lads find it very exciting.”

“How so?” Estella was doubtful. 

“You hide the key,” the shopkeeper suggested.  “Give him little hints and make him find it or you give it to him before hand as a token of what is to come.  You give him the key and trust him to release you at just the proper moment.”

“Isn’t that rather risky?” Estella objected.

“Not if he is trustworthy and if he is at all interested in seeking the pleasures of your bounty,” the shopkeeper said.  He shrugged.  “Of course, after a few years of marriage some lads prefer a good meal to an evening of passion.”

“Not mine!” Estella fairly shouted.  “My marriage is just as passionate as it was the day we wed!  Why my husband would be more than eager to, well, to do what married hobbits do in the privacy of their own smials!”

“Pippin is already eager,” Diamond smiled.  “And he hasn’t even done that yet.”

“Well, then think how very romantic a wedding gift this would be,” the shopkeeper said.  “Why it would show your complete and utter trust in him if you were to give him the key to your virtue so to speak on your wedding night.  Or, you could keep the key and make him earn it.”

“Earn it?” Diamond wasn’t sure what her darling Pippin might have to do to earn the key to her virtue.

“Another game?” Estella asked.

“Indeed,” the shopkeeper chuckled.

“You see, you could tease him and bring him to the edge of climax and then have him offer services that you might want in exchange for your key or you could simply make him beg for it if that is something you might enjoy,” he arched an eyebrow at Estella.

“I never make him beg!” she said strongly.

“Pippin would,” Diamond smiled.  “In fact he has a bit already but I didn’t give in.”  She giggled.

“I have other items if this is not to your likely or if you merely think that it won’t suit,” the shopkeeper shrugged.

“How much is it?” Diamond wanted to know.

“Diamond?”

“I’m only inquiring about the price,” Diamond said.

The shopkeeper held out a tag that hung from the waist of the garment, which neither lass had noticed before and Diamond whistled.  “My!”

“It comes with that guarantee that I mentioned before,” the shopkeeper said.  “If you aren’t satisfied or if the lock should release before you are ready then I will most certainly give you your money back or if you like, I will replace the item with anything of similar cost in this shop.”

“That seems fair,” Diamond said looking at Estella.

“But wouldn’t you have to have one made for her?” Estella frowned.  “I mean one size cannot fit all in a tightly fitting garment like this and it doesn’t look at all comfortable.”

“I have a variety of sizes and styles in the shop now so fitting the lovely Miss shouldn’t be a problem,” he said.  “As to comfort, well, I don’t doubt that this is less than relaxing but then you don’t wear it for very long if you know what I mean.”

Estella frowned.  “Diamond, this could be a bit complicated.  What if Pippin isn’t pleased with it?”

“I think it will be fun,” Diamond said.  “You should get one too, Estella.”

“Me? Wear that?” Estella groaned.  “I don’t think so.”

“Trust issues?” the shopkeeper asked.  “Or perhaps you are the one who might like a bit of work to do?”

“What do you mean?  I have no trust issues with my Merry,” Estella said.  “I might like what?”

“Well, I don’t know if your mate would be willing but I do have something very similar that is designed for a lad,” he leered and then he winked.

Estella and Diamond were both staring at him with their eyes as wide as saucers now.


The Presentation


Pippin had both arms tightly around Diamond’s thin waist.  Her feet weren’t touching the floor and he swung her about in a circle and laughed.  “At last!  At last we are alone!  No party guest, no relatives, no one to interrupt us, alone!” he crowed.

“We are indeed!” Diamond smiled and leaned forward and kissed him on the tip of his nose.

“You don’t know how long I have wanted you, my darlin’ lass,” Pippin whispered in her ear as he gently lowered her so that she was again standing on her own feet but his arms were still around her.  “I have dreamed of this night for a very long time.”

“I hope it will be all you dreamed and more,” Diamond said happily.  She squirmed slightly and looked a bit uncomfortable.

“Am I holding you too tightly?” Pippin wanted to know a small frown creasing his brow.

“No,” Diamond assured him.  “It’s only this, well, this dress is a bit less then comfortable and I have been wearing it for longer than I meant to be.”  She wasn’t talking about the dress but she couldn’t spoil the surprise by letting him in on it just now.  Still, the virtue protection garment, or ‘love lock’ as the shopkeeper had called it was indeed quite form fitting and not at all comfortable.  Perhaps she had been unwise to wear it during the wedding ceremony and the party afterward but she didn’t want to take a chance on not having an opportunity to put this on before Pippin became passionate.

She smiled thinly at him and then managed a wink much like the shopkeeper had given her during her visit to his establishment.  “It seems to me Peregrin Took, that it is about time that you and I celebrated our marriage properly,” Diamond said pulling him toward the bed.

“You’ll get no argument from me, Mrs. Took,” Pippin grinned.

“Mrs. Took,” Diamond smiled.  “I love the way that sounds, say it again please.”

“I love saying it, Mrs., Took,” Pippin complied as they sat down on the large, feather bed in the comfortable room that would be their marriage bedroom.  Well, it might have been comfortable if it hadn’t been for the lovelock.  As Pippin pulled her close they fell as one onto the bed and she instantly climbed on top of him. 

“What’s this then?” Pippin smiled, pleased and surprised.  He had been warned by older members of his family that on some occasions a lass was a bit hesitant on the wedding night.  This was especially true if she’d had no experience before and as far as Pippin knew, Diamond had no prior experience.  Even Merry had cautioned him to be gentle and to go slow but it seemed that his new bride was just as anxious to begin as he was.  How very fortunate!

Diamond began to unbutton Pippin’s formal waistcoat slowly, but not as slowly as she had at first intended.  In fact, she was eager to get out of her self-imposed confinement and because of this she was perhaps a bit too eager for a proper game of this sort.  She tugged at his braces and he laughed.  “My darlin’ bride is ready, aren’t you, Mrs. Took?”

“Well, aren’t you at all interested?” Diamond snapped and then quickly blushed.  “I-I’m sorry but I just don’t want to wait any more and I have a bit of a surprise for you as you probably know by now.”  She winked at him again and he wondered when she had picked up this habit?  It was cute but not at all like his Diamond.

“I am very interested,” Pippin said sincerely.  “In fact, if you remember, I wanted to do this early on, but I agreed to wait like you wanted me to and so now, I am more than eager to begin.”

He had barely finished speaking when she leaned forward and began to kiss him.  He was surprised to find that she was putting considerable pressure on his lips.  This was no gentle kiss, this was something wild and exciting and Pippin was perfectly willing to entertain this new Diamond by kissing her back and while he was about it, he began to unfasten the buttons of her bodice with his nimble fingers.

Diamond breathed a sigh and cried out as Pippin slid his hands across the milky white skin of her lovely breast.  The discomfort she’d felt only minutes before was but a memory as she concentrated on this new and thrilling sensation.  Her skin tingled and she felt goose flesh raise on her arms and thighs as Pippin explored her breasts with his fingers and ran his calloused thumbs around her nipples causing them to harden.  She cried out again as he put his lips to her right breast and took it into his mouth gently, moving his tongue over her nipple playfully.  Oh, how she wanted him!

Pippin’s exploration of her breasts soon led to his hands attempting to inch lower than she could afford to allow him to go just now.  Thinking quickly, she took both of his hands in hers and pinned him to the bed.  “Mr. Took, if you please, I’d like to see exactly what sort of equipment you’ve hidden beneath those fine trousers of yours,” she said in a rather throaty whisper.

Pippin grinned.  “I though we were planning on relieving you of that uncomfortable dress of yours, Mrs. Took.”

At the mention of the word uncomfortable Diamond squirmed a bit and Pippin groaned as she pushed against his groin with her ‘love lock’.  A look of surprise passed over his face and he nearly questioned exactly what his lovely bride was wearing under that dress but she didn’t give him the opportunity.  She leaned forward and began to loosen the buttons on his trousers while running the occasional finger over his groin.  Pippin gulped.  Diamond giggled sweetly.  “You first, my dear husband.  There will be plenty of time for me to undress once I’ve helped you get out of those trousers.”

Pippin didn’t argue and Diamond moved rather quickly to divest him of his braces, trousers and his unbuttoned shirt.  Pippin gladly assisted her in her efforts.  She seemed a bit frantic and he was surprised at how very anxious she was to get him naked.  He wasn't complaining but he was amused that everyone had been so very wrong about his new bride’s sexual appetites.  This one was strung as tightly as a new fiddle.

Diamond placed her hands on Pippin’s erection and smiled.  “Ent draft?” she asked.  “Should I be sending Tree Beard a thank you note for this?”

“I should say not!” Pippin said, pretending to be insulted.  “We Tooks are always rather large in that area.  Ent Draught had nothing to do with this, my darling lass.  This is inherited.”

Diamond giggled and gently squeezed Pippin’s inheritance.  “So even without the Ent Draught I would still be gazing upon this fine, firm display of magnificence?”

“You would indeed,” Pippin said.  “Now, why don’t we get you out of that dress?”

Diamond didn’t answer.  She merely leaned forward and began to take the fine display of Tookish virility into her dainty mouth.  Pippin gasped and fell back onto the bed as Diamond displayed a considerable talent for giving him the pleasure that he had only imagined was possible.  He wasn’t sure that he would be able to contain himself if she kept this up for long.


The Presentation Part Two

“I don’t know about this, Stella,” Merry frowned as he looked at the item in that lay in the crumpled papers on the bed.  He had just finished unwrapping what Estella had called, a gift for both of them and he was slightly alarmed by the sight of it.  “Just exactly what is this?” Merry wanted to know.

“This is something to keep both of us aroused for quite a long, long, while,” Estella smiled.

“I thought we would keep ourselves aroused in our usual way,” Merry said lifting the item out of the paper and frowning at it.  “You don’t seriously expect me to wear this do you?”

“It’ll be fun,” Estella said.  “It will be sort of like hunting for treasure in a way.”

“How do you come by that notion?” Merry asked.

“Well, you put that on and lock it and then hide the key,” Estella said.

“I still don’t know about this,” Merry said grimacing a bit.  “This is made of chain mail, Estella.  I don’t fancy having my privates pinched by chain mail.”

“It’s lined, Merry,” Estella said coming over and taking it from him.  “See the nice, lovely soft velvet lining?  This is between you and the chain mail.  I certainly have no desire to harm you in that area.  That is one of my favorite parts of you.”  She winked.

“You have something in your eye, Stella?” Merry looked at her with concern.

“No, of course not,” Estella said.  “Now, why don’t you go and try that on and then model it for me?”

“Stella, I don’t think I can do this,” Merry objected holding the item at arm’s length.

“Honestly, Merry,” Estella said.  “You’ll have the key and if it isn’t enjoyable then you can simply take it off.  I can’t believe that you aren't willing to at least give this a try.”

“I still don’t see how this will be any enjoyment for either of us,” Merry frowned.  “Where exactly did you get this, this, what is this anyway?”

“The shopkeeper called it ‘love lock’,” she explained.  “He said that we could play games in the bedroom with this.”

Merry blushed.  “Just exactly which shopkeeper did you tell our personal sexual habits to?”

“I told him nothing,” Estella frowned.  “Now, Diamond was a bit too forthcoming about-“

“Diamond bought Pippin one of these?” Merry groaned.  “He’s just mad enough to wear it!”

Estella turned on him and glared.  “Mad enough?  So he’d have to be mad to wear this?  He’d have to be stark raving mad in order to allow his wife a bit of fun in the bedroom?”

“Excuse me but I was under the impression that you did have fun in our bedroom,” Merry frowned.  “In fact, I thought you enjoyed our sexual activities as much as I do.  Was I wrong?”

“No, you aren’t wrong,” Estella said hurrying over and putting a hand on Merry’s arm.  “It’s only that this is something that I thought might be entertaining and here you are refusing to do it for me.”

“You think it would be entertaining if I had my nuts in an armored sack with a lock on it?” Merry blurted out.

“I thought it might be fun for us to pleasure each other without going all the way,” Estella said. 

“We need a locked sack for that?” Merry frowned.

“This insures that we wait until we can’t wait any longer,” Estella said.  “Besides, you shall have the key in this game.  You can excite me to your heart’s content and then decide when you will allow me access to the Master of Buckland.” She stroked his crotch with her palm and was gratified when he groaned softly.

“But I shall look like a complete fool in this,” Merry objected though he was objecting less strenuously.  Estella continued to move her hand over his most sensitive area while he tried to state his objections.  “Couldn’t we just enjoy each other now?  I certainly am in the mood at this moment.”

“You are, aren’t you?” she smiled.  “But wouldn’t it be interesting to see just how long you can wait before satisfying your needs and mine?”

“That sounds frighteningly painful,” Merry said but he was beginning to see the value of this article of clothing, if a chain mail sack that fits around one’s penis and locks about the waist can actually be called clothing that is.  “Still it might make us wait longer before we give in.”

“Oh, Merry please?  Let’s try this,” Estella pleaded.  “I don’t want us to be old and stodgy.  I want us to be young and, and exciting.”

“We are young and exciting,” Merry smiled.  “I find you very exciting my dearest temptress.”

“Then you’ll do this for me?” Estella said hopefully.

“If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone including and most especially Diamond and Pippin I promise you,” Merry began but Estella quickly put a finger to his lips.

“Diamond doesn’t know that I bought anything,” she said.  “I was with her while she shopped but I left the shop without anything at all.  After she had gone off with Pippin’s sisters to try on her wedding dress then I went back to the shop and bought this.  No one knows.”

“Except that shopkeeper,” Merry pointed out.

“He won’t tell,” Estella sighed.  “He obviously sells these items to half the Shire and I am sure his business would suffer if he were not discreet.”

Merry nodded.  “I suppose you’re right about that.”  He then chuckled.  “I wonder how Pippin took the news that his new bride wants him to wear one of these on the wedding night!”

Estella bit her lip and said nothing.  After all, she hadn’t exactly lied to Merry.  She didn’t tell him that Pippin was wearing one of those; she only told him that Diamond had shopped.  Merry had assumed the rest and maybe that was best for now.  She would set him straight sooner or later but if believing that Pippin was willing to do this helped get Merry into the mood then Estella was not going to clear things up now.

“Do I dress once I’ve put it on or does it go on over my-“

“You put it on first and then if you want me to undress you, you dress,” Estella said with a sweet smile.  “If you want to appear in our bed chamber wearing nothing but that and a smile then I’ll not complain about it.”  She extended her hand to him.  “Here is the key.  Do with it what you will.”

Merry took the key along with his newly acquired ‘lovelock’ and left the room.  He wasn’t sure about this but if Estella wanted to play a game or two then he supposed it would be all right with him.  She was a wonderful lass and he loved her more with each passing day so it was only right that he be willing to let her do a bit of experimentation.  Besides, he would not let her think that he wasn’t as adventurous as his younger cousin was.

Estella settled herself on the bed, in what she hoped, was an alluring position to wait for Merry to return.



The Unveiling

Pippin was about to go mad.  He didn’t want their first time together to be like this.  He couldn’t hold off much longer as he felt as if he might burst but he wanted to feel himself inside of her and so far she had yet to remove her petticoat.  There she stood, naked from the waist up, all glistening white skin revealed until the rest of her disappeared into a stiff, blue petticoat.  “Diamond, please,” Pippin moaned as she ran her hands over her own breasts in small circles while he lay struggling on the bed.

“So you’d like to see more, would you?” she invited.

“Yes!” he practically shouted, the strain in his voice obvious.

Diamond begin to unfasten the ribbon at her waist that held her petticoat in place while moving forward toward the bed with slow deliberate steps.  Slow was the only way that she could move comfortably at this point.  Her ‘lovelock’ seemed to be chaffing her a bit and she was more than a little relieved that the time had come to reveal it.

Pippin turned on his side and propped himself up on one elbow.  His groin was throbbing and he was barely able to move but he kept telling himself that this was the moment.  He was about to consummate his marriage and he was more than ready.

Diamond was within reach of her husband now.  She smiled at him and allowed the petticoat to fall to the floor and come to rest around her feet.  She watched as Pippin’s smile dissolved and he looked at her in near panic.  “W-W-What’s that?” he stammered.

“This is a virtue protection garment,” Diamond recited as if giving a report to a slow-witted child.

“A what?” Pippin repeated.

“This keeps you from getting too eager,” Diamond smiled and then she winked at him.

“Is that thing locked?” Pippin asked desperation in his voice.

“You know perfectly well it is,” she smiled.  “My Peregrin Took, but you’re certainly playing your part in this very convincingly.”

“I’m what?” Pippin blinked and managed to sit up a bit straighter.  He had no idea what his lovely bride was doing but it most assuredly was vexing.  Right now he should be looking at her naked but instead he was staring at some sort of metal garment with a lock on it.  He groaned.  “How do we get that off?”

“You should know that.  I am very certain that you’ve had a moment or two to read the instructions,” Diamond giggled.  “But if you want to prolong this a bit then I suppose I don’t mind.  Just don’t wait too long, Pippin because I’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.”

“I should think so,” Pippin said.  “You’re wearing metal short-clothes!”  Suddenly his face took on a pained expression.  “Are you afraid of me?  I mean are you worried that I might hurt you in some way is that why you’re wearing this, what did you call it?”

“No, Pippin,” Diamond frowned now slightly alarmed.  “You know how much I love and trust you.  This is the proof of it after all.  I wouldn’t trust anyone else like I am trusting you now.”

“You are trusting me now?” Pippin shook his head in confusion.  “It looks to me as if you’ve locked me out my love.  How is that trust?”

“Because, you silly lad, you have the key,” Diamond giggled moving to stand between his thighs as he sat there on the bed trying to reason this out.  It was difficult to think when all you’d planned to do was give yourself over to total pleasure.

“I do?” Pippin stared at her a bit stupidly. 

“Of course you do!” Diamond said becoming annoyed with him.  She had wanted him to tease a bit and to prolong things slightly but she hadn’t expected him to pretend that he didn’t have the key.  Besides she was ready to be out of this ‘lovelock’.  Pippin wasn’t the only one with desires.

“Diamond, if I have the key then where is it?” Pippin asked.

“Peregrin Took!  Don’t tease me anymore!  Get the key and let me out of this thing.  It’s our wedding night,” she said sternly.

“I know it’s our wedding night and I would love to get you out of that but I don’t have any key, Diamond,” Pippin said.

She glared at him.  “I have had enough of this!”  He could tell she was near tears now.

He stood, all thoughts of satisfaction gone and most of his erection wilted.  He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her.  “Diamond, please explain.  I don’t want you to cry.”

“Then get me out of this,” Diamond wailed.  “Get the key that I sent you and open this infernal thing so that we can do what married hobbits do.”

“How did you send me this key?” Pippin asked feeling tension grow in the pit of his stomach.

“Well, I sent it from Tuckborough by post of course,” Diamond said.  “I went straight from the shop after I bought this and posted it right that minute.”

“When was that?” Pippin asked even more concerned.

“That was yesterday afternoon after I’d finished my shopping,” Diamond said her hands absently rubbing the metal waistband of the lovelock as she spoke.  “I wrote a lovely note and put the key in a package and posted it.  Estella thought that I was with Peal and Pervinca trying on my dress and I did do that after I posted the key but I didn’t tell Estella my idea.”

“Y-You didn’t?” Pippin said weakly.

“No, I wanted that to be our secret,” Diamond said with a small smile.  “Estella was with me when I bought this and she knew I was planning to surprise you but I made her promise not to tell anyone.”

“Diamond, you are telling me that yesterday afternoon you mailed me the key to that, that-“

“Lovelock,” Diamond supplied when it seemed that Pippin could not continue.  “It’s called a lovelock.  See the wee heart-shaped lock?”

Pippin nodded and ran his fingers through his hair so that it stood wildly on end.  “What time was it?”

“What?”

“When you posted the package, what was the time?” Pippin asked trying to keep his voice calm.

“Just after three,” Diamond said squirming a bit in an effort to gain some comfortable position. “Why?”

Pippin sank onto the bed.  “Then we should get it by about six tomorrow evening or maybe the morning after that depending on if there is enough post for the rider to bother coming out here.”

Diamond’s eyes went wild.  “You mean you didn’t get it?  You really don't have my key?”

Pippin shook his head.  “The post doesn’t run that often all the way out here near Whitwell.  They usually wait until they have several day’s worth of letters and sometimes a whole week-“

“A week!” Diamond sputtered.  “I’m to be locked in this for a week?  The first week of our marriage and I am to spend it in this?”  She pulled frantically at the tiny, sturdy little heart-shaped lock and then tugged at the tight waist of the contraption.  "Pippin, I can't spend a week in this!  Do something!"

He looked at his wife who was twisting and squirming and tugging at her lovelock in a frenzied effort to escape.  "It's all right, Diamond,” Pippin said.  "I'll think of something only just now I'm not completely sure what that will be."  He reached over and pulled her toward him trying not to think of his own growing need in the face of her panic.  He rubbed her shoulders and tried to calm her.  He also tried desperately not to look at her firm, round breasts.  "The trouble is, I’ll need something that will get that lock off of there and I’ll have to be very careful or we’ll have quite a bit of explaining to do when we send for the healer.  Anything strong enough to break that lock open just might injure you if it isn’t done correctly.”

"Then just find a way to pick the lock," Diamond encouraged him, her eyes pleading.  "I've been trapped in this thing for ages and it hurts, Pippin."

"I'm afraid to try to pick the lock," Pippin frowned hating to deny her anything.

"Why?" she demanded tugging at her lovelock and twisting a bit.

"Well, I once broke something off in a lock trying to pick it and you can't unlock a lock if you can't get the key into it," Pippin reasoned.  "If I try to open that metal monster and whatever I'm using breaks off in the lock," He let the rest of this go unsaid as Diamond paled before him with growing realization.  She gulped, took a deep breath and ran one hand over a breast absently.

Pippin squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to think about sex.  It wasn't working at all well.  "Let's just sit here and think for a minute of two," he said.  "Maybe we can come up with a plan."

Diamond made a small whimpering sound and sank down onto the bed.





The Unveiling Part Two

Merry was feeling decidedly silly in this thing but if it was what Estella wanted then he would play along for this one occasion.  He snapped the lock shut and took a deep breath. It was a bit strange to have a piece of metal running up his backside and connecting to a thick metal waistband but it wasn’t as dreadful as he had thought it might be.   Now, where to put the key?  Grinning, he placed it inside of the watch pocket on his formal waistcoat, which was hanging on the changing room door.  He would be retrieving it very soon.   He would allow Estella a bit of this silly game if it was what she truly wanted of him but that key was getting used as soon as possible. 

He was surprised at how comfortable this ridiculous ‘lovelock’ contraption was.  The velvet was actually a bit arousing as it brushed against his penis.  It would be difficult indeed to put off pleasure with the lining of this lovelock getting him excited all on its own.  He could only imagine how much difficulty he would face once Estella began to work on him too.

As he walked out of the dressing room with as much dignity as was possible for a hobbit dressed in nothing but a velvet-lined codpiece Merry felt the fabric inside of the lovelock brush him as he moved.  He nearly went back for the key that very moment.  Walking in this thing was an erotic experience.

“Well, what have we here?” Estella smiled as she watched him move.

“You’re naked!” Merry said in surprise.

“I know,” Estella laughed lightly.  “I thought we might as well do this right if we were going to do it.”

“Do you have any idea how vastly unfair this is?” Merry frowned as he moved to the bed awkwardly.

Estella giggled.  “Why are you walking like that?”

“Like what?” Merry snapped his patience already worn thin.

“I don’t know,” Estella giggled again.  “All silly like.”

“Because,” Merry growled.  “I’m getting a free rub down at the moment.  The lining in this thing it rubbing me in all the right ways.”

“Perhaps you’d like some time alone with it?” Estella laughed.

“You aren’t leaving me like this,” Merry said quickly moving to the bed and sitting down.  “I could go at any minute and you need to be ready to fetch the key in the event of an early firing.”  Merry put a hand against his arousal and groaned.  “This was not a good idea.”

Estella entwined her naked body about him and looked down.  “Some of you seems to be enjoying it.”

“You love this, don’t you?” Merry groaned.

Estella playfully ran her finger down his thigh and smiled as she watched the goose flesh appear while Merry squirmed.  “I’m not teasing you, Stella.  This is a bit too stimulating.” 

“Well, do the best you can because the game is only just beginning,” Estella said.  “Show me some of the famous Brandybuck self control.”

“Right now, I’d rather show you something else the Brandybucks are famous for,” Merry gulped.  “Stella I may need to-“

She reached over and gripped his groin hard in her hand and he jumped.  “I may need a thing or two myself, Merry.  Why don’t you see to me for a while?”

Merry could feel the sweat beading on his forehead but he took her in his arms and kissed her as she squeezed him tightly in her hands and ran her palms up and down his crotch causing him to groan with both pleasure and pain; pleasure at her touch and pain because he knew that he was unable to do anything about it.  This was the most maddening experience that he had ever had.

Estella ran her hands over him expertly and gently pulled him back onto the bed in a prone position.  She sat beside of him and smiled.  “I see someone is up and ready to go,” she said.

“You might want to go in search of the key now,” Merry cautioned her. 

“First, I think you should,” and she leaned next to his ear and whispered.

“That may kill me,” Merry said meaning it.

In spite of his desperate need, Merry managed to give Estella what she wanted, allowing her to take charge of things while he did her bidding.  It wasn't difficult to do as she asked for he enjoyed every suggestion.  His only problem was that the arousal between his legs desperately needed to be satisfied.  Finally when he could tolerate no more he said through gritted teeth, “Go into the changing room and look in the watch pocket of my waistcoat, and do it quickly.”

Estella sighed, “That is your idea of giving me a hint about where the key is?”

“No, that is my idea of letting you know exactly how close I am to starting without you so unless you want me to soil this velvet lining then I suggest you go quickly.  You have tortured me quite enough for one evening,” Merry said a bit sourly.

“Very well,” Estella said, getting up and moving toward the changing room rather too slowly for Merry’s comfort.  “But I had thought that you would last longer than this.”

“You were wrong, Estella,” Merry said still trying to keep his temper with her and manage his other desperate need.

Estella quickened her pace and Merry had to look away.  The sight of her naked form running across the room was too much to endure.  He squeezed his eyes shut as she called out cheerfully, “Think of something unappealing.  Maybe that will help a bit.”

“What will help is for you to get this off of me,” Merry muttered though not loud enough for her to hear him.  “Of all the insane tortures I’ve ever been subject to in my life, this may be the most evil.”

She returned holding the key before her as though it were a prize that she had won.  “You are mine, Merry Brandybuck!  Mine and I shall unlock you and have my way with you.”

“Oh, please do,” Merry groaned as she moved to the bed and began to slip the key into the lock.  “Hurry, dearest,” he coaxed her shifting a bit so that she could reach the lock easier.

Estella sat with her feet underneath her and worked the key back and forth in the lock, a small frown growing on her face.

“Come on, this is no time to tease me,” Merry moaned.  “Unlock it.”

“You better try,” Estella frowned.  “I’m all thumbs it seems and this isn’t opening.”

“That isn’t funny,” Merry snapped.

“It wasn’t meant to be,” Estella said pressing the key into his hand.  “You do it.”

Merry suspiciously looked at the key just to make sure that it was the one he’d put in his watch pocket.  Satisfied that it was indeed the key, he sat up and began to awkwardly attempt to put the key into the lock on the waistband of the lovelock.  After a few efforts he got the key into the lock but it refused to turn.  Panic began to set in and he stood quickly.  “What is wrong with this contraption?”

“I-I-I- don’t know,” Estella said.  “It worked in the shop when he tried the key.  Diamond and I were-“

“You said you didn’t buy this while Diamond was with you,” Merry objected still working the key in the lock with no results.

“I didn’t but she and I did look at them together earlier in the afternoon while she was doing her shopping and the shopkeeper allowed us to test the lock because of his famous guarantee,” Estella said.

“What guarantee is that?” Merry snapped still trying to get the key to turn.

“That all of his locks stay locked.” Her voice dropped to a near whisper as she watched Merry’s face redden.  “No matter how rough the play or how wild the games or your money refunded.”

“Did he make any promise at all about the quality of his keys?” Merry shouted.  “Was there a guarantee for them as well?  Are we entitled to anything at all if his key fails to work?”

“He didn’t say,” Estella mumbled.

“Well someone owes me some answers and I intend to get them,” Merry scowled as he stood.  He took two quick steps forward and then groaned and bent forward.  "Damn velvet!" he growled rubbing at his distressed member. "I am getting some answers and I am getting a key that works!"  He looked down at himself in embarrassment as he stood there grasping his crotch with one hand and the worthless key with the other in nothing but the chain mail lovelock and winced.  "Only I don’t think I will be going into Tuckborough in this.”

“No,” Estella said softly looking unhappily at Merry’s lovelock.  “I just don’t understand.  It did work in the shop.  Diamond tried the key several times.  In fact just to see how it might look she slid it on over her skirt and-“  Estella paused in mid-sentance and her eyes grew wide.

“And?” Merry frowned.

“And I think I know what happened to the key,” Estella mumbled as the realization dawned.

“What?”  Merry demanded.  "If you know anything that might help then tell me!"

“Well, when Diamond bought her item, I think perhaps she picked up the wrong key.  Both keys were on the counter and Diamond had been playing with both devices.   Merry, I think Diamond has the key for this ‘lovelock’ and we probably have the key for the one that she purchased.”  Estella licked her lips and then bit her bottom one.  She looked sexy in spite of the mess she'd got him into and Merry felt like screaming.

Merry groaned.  “You mean that Pippin is currently spending his wedding night in one of these?”

“Not exactly,” Estella said her voice even more nervous.

“What exactly has Diamond locked him into?” Merry sighed knowing full well that Pippin was so anxious to bed his new bride that the lad would have agreed to wear nearly anything if it would get her into their marriage bed.

“Diamond has locked herself into something,” Estella said in a near whisper.

“What?”

“Well, you see, she bought a lovelock for herself so that she could present Pippin with the key and let him unlock her,” Estella said.

“I thought you said that Pippin was,” Merry stopped.  “You didn’t!  You just didn’t correct me when I jumped to the wrong conclusion.  You used my perception of the situation to get me into this, this, this, instrument of torture!”

“I was going to tell you but I just hadn’t got round to it yet,” she said nervously.  “I’ve been rather busy just recently.”

“We’ll talk about that later,” Merry said sternly.  “Right now, we have to exchange keys with Diamond and Pippin before their wedding night is completely ruined.  More importantly, I have to have the key to this prison before I go insane from this velvet lining!" He fidgeted.  Oh, and Estella?” Merry said, shutting both eyes tightly.

“Yes?”

“Put something frumpy on, will you? I can’t take much more of this if you remain naked before me," Merry moaned.  "At the very least, get dressed in something, will you?"

“Sorry,” she chuckled.

“It isn’t at all amusing,” Merry groaned.  “Here I am trapped in this amazingly arousing contraption with no way to, well, with no way, well you no what I mean.”  He rubbed his crotch while she tried not to look.  “Poor Pippin is spending his wedding night with a bride who is wearing a codpiece with a lock!”


“I'll get ready and you, well, you better put on something more," she smiled.  "As exciting as you look, I'll not have you traveling through the Tooklands in only that."

"I wouldn't be in this thing if you hadn't come up with this idea," Merry growled taking one hand and tugging at the sturdy waistband.  "I feel like an idiot in this thing."

"Don't worry," she called out from the changing room.  "It’s a good thing that we decided to stay here at the Great Smials instead of traveling back to Buckland.  We can reach Pippin and Diamond's smial near Whitwell by pony in no time at all.  We'll trade keys, set you and Diamond free and this will all simply be an amusing memory,” Estella said pleasantly.

"This will never be amusing!" Merry shouted giving up any effort to try and pull the device off.  "Pippin might think he has problems about now, but he knows nothing about what having problems is really like.  I could kill the maker of this device for the velvet lining alone!"

“Well, I feel sorry for poor Diamond,” Estella said.  “The poor lass must be out of her mind with embarrassment over this.  Imagine going through all of that effort in the hopes of making your sexual experience a memorable one and then finding yourself imprisoned in a personal garment with the wrong key.”

“I don’t have to imagine it!  I’m living through just that particular experience right now!”

“Sorry,” she murmured.  This time she truly was sorry.




The Good News…


“It’s your move,” Pippin sighed as he stared down at the chessboard in front of him.

“Pippin, I can’t play anymore,” Diamond said in a nervous voice.  “I need to stand up.”

He looked at her and noticed that she was reaching a hand beneath her dressing gown in an effort to rearrange something.  “Damn!”  she said.  “I can’t adjust anything properly.  This wicked lovelock is cutting me nearly in half!”

“I looked all through the barn and there’s no tool out there that will cut through that lock,” Pippin said gently.  “Believe me if there where anything at all that I thought might work, I’d be using it right this second to get you out of that.  I gave some thought to trying the wood axe on it but I didn’t think either of us would be pleased with the results from that effort.”

“I know,” Diamond sighed.  Her eyes began to tear up.  “I’ve ruined your wedding night.”

“Our wedding night,” Pippin reminded her.  “And you certainly didn’t plan this.  You were trying to surprise me, I think.  You were trying to surprise me, weren’t you?”

She nodded and leaned against him.  He put his arms around her and held her close.  The result was instant and he pulled back.  “I, I have to go splash some cold water on something.  I’ll be right back.”  He moved toward the bathing room quickly and closed the door behind him.

Diamond sniffled.  “At least you can reach it to splash something cold on it,” she muttered.  She held her dressing gown open and looked down at the lovelock.  How had she ever been convinced that this would be entertaining?  She wished desperately that she were as practical as Estella.  Estella had left the shop without buying a single thing.  Estella was most likely in a comfortable guest room at the Great Smials right this minute having sex with her husband while Diamond was still a virgin on her wedding night and it was fast becoming the day after her wedding night!  She pulled at the wicked heart-shaped lock which she had once thought of as absolutely darling and stomped her foot in frustration.  There just had to be some way out of this thing!

Pippin returned to the room and Diamond quickly wrapped her dressing gown tightly about herself.  Pippin was being so understanding but she knew he was, if it was at all possible, even more frustrated than she was.  He might not be locked into an uncomfortable device but he had agreed to wait until their marriage night for her sake and now he was still waiting.

“Maybe we could go to into town and get the package before they ride off with it,” Diamond suggested.  “We could leave now and be there when they open.”

“We’d be there in town sitting about for hours and hours waiting for them to open.  They open the shop when they feel like it,” Pippin said.  “Old Darius doesn’t have set hours.  He opens when manages to get there.  The old hobbit is nearly ninety and so some days he gets to opening up rather late.”

“That’s no way to run the post!” Diamond complained.

“It’s how it’s done here.  You do have a pretty good idea about being there when it opens except for the fact that everyone in Tuckborough is likely to be gossiping about us if we show up at the post on the day after our wedding,” Pippin said.  “Folks’ll likely think that things have already gone amiss between us or we’d be at home in bed.”

Diamond sniffled.  “Well, we would be in bed all day tomorrow if it weren’t for this thing!  Or if the Tooks of Tuckborough ran a proper post like they do in Long Cleeve.  I could have posted that key in Long Cleeve and had it arrive before we’re likely to get it here!  I probably could have ridden to Gondor for it!”

“We’ll go to town tomorrow and let the gossips have their say,” Pippin assured her.  “I promise that one way or another I will get you out of that by tomorrow night.”

Diamond squirmed.  “Tomorrow morning would be better, Pippin.”

That’s when they heard the knock on the door of the little smial.  Diamond held her dressing gown tightly and whispered, “Don’t answer it.  I don’t want anyone to know about this.”

“Who would be coming out here tonight?” Pippin whispered as he put a protective arm around her.  “Everyone in the Shire knows this is our wedding night.”

More knocking sounded and this time it was quite insistent.  “Pippin, don’t,” Diamond hissed holding him too her.  “Unless you think it may be the post.”

“Not at this hour,” Pippin sighed as the knocking became pounding and there were shouts to accompany it.

“That sounds rather like Merry,” Pippin frowned.

“Merry?” Diamond whispered.  “Do you suppose there’s something wrong?”

“You mean something like my bride being locked up in metal knickers while I suffer?” Pippins said feeling himself begin to stiffen with her close presence.

“I know I shouldn’t touch you but,” Diamond broke off as the pounding grew in volume almost as fast as Pippin erection was growing.  “You better get that but don’t let anyone in, please?”

Pippin nodded and pulled his shirt out of his trousers to cover his current condition as he made his way through the parlor and to the door.  He flung it open to see Merry and Estella standing on his stoop looking a bit odd.  They seemed rather tense but maybe that was just his imagination.  “What’s wrong?” Pippin asked as they brushed by him into the parlor before he could stop them.  “This is my wedding night you know.”

“How’s that going?” Estella asked a bit sarcastically.

“What kind of, of a question is that?” Pippin sputtered.

Estella held up a tiny gold key in her hand and said, “I don’t suppose you’d be at all interested in this would you?”

Pippin groaned and blushed intently. 

“Well?” Merry prodded.  “Come on, Cousin.  I think a trade is in order and the sooner the better.”

“I’ll not ask where you got that, but I will be grateful for the rest of my life no matter how long that is if you’ll give me that,” Pippin said.  He tugged his shirt down over himself a bit more and looked very ill at ease.

In spite of his own troubles, Merry had to smile.  It seemed that he wasn’t the only one having a painful night.  He and Estella had ridden out here in a rented pony cart because it was impossible for Merry to sit on a pony without very adverse results.  He had attempted to do so only to find that the motion of the pony set the velvet material to work in an alarming fashion.  The pony cart had been their only choice and even it had proved quite arousing.  No matter which way Merry positioned himself the velvet seemed to move across him and send him into near fits of excitement.  At least now he and poor frustrated Pippin could gain some much- needed relief with the simple act of trading keys.

“Pippin, if that’s my key please bring it now,” Diamond called out form the other room.  From the sound of her voice she was just as desperate as Merry was.  The lass had most likely been listening to their conversation and been too embarrassed to come out of the bedroom and join them even if it meant getting that key.

Estella winced.  “I am guessing that she’s rather frustrated.”

“I’m the one who’s frustrated thank you,” Pippin sighed.  “Diamond is simply miserable.  The metal knickers that she bought aren’t very comfortable and it seems that she’s been wearing them since before the wedding.”

Estella pushed the key into Pippin’s hand and pushed him toward the door as Diamond called out, “Pippin, explain later if you please.  Unlock this damn prison before I’m cut completely in half!”

With a slightly apologetic look at Merry and Estella, Pippin took the key and hurried from the room.  “There goes one twitchy Took!” Estella giggled.  “Metal knickers!  Pippin is so blunt.”

“Never mind that,” Merry said.  “He isn’t the only one who’s twitchy.  Remember me?  I’m the husband that you insisted wear a velvet-lined codpiece to your bed?”

“Pippin will return with your key in a minute and then we can leave,” Estella said gently.

“We aren’t leaving until I’ve visited a changing room and removed this devilishly arousing garment,” Merry said squirming at her side as they waited for Pippin to return.


And The Bad News…..

“What do you mean you don’t have it?” Merry shouted.

“Easy, Merry,” Pippin said, not understanding his cousin’s angry reaction.  “It’s a rather unfortunate thing but we won’t have the key until the end of the week.  It doesn’t matter-“

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Merry blurted taking Pippin by the shirt collar.  “That key doesn’t go with your new wife’s contraption and so you need to return it!”

“We will,” Pippin said meekly as Merry released him.  “As soon as the post comes, we’ll get that right back to the shopkeeper who sold Diamond that ridiculous pair of knickers with the lock.  I don’t know why she did that to herself.  I guess maybe when we’ve been married longer I’ll understand things more, but-“

“What does the Tuckborough post have to do with anything?” Merry demanded.   His anger had caused him to move about more than he should have and he was starting to feel a quivering sensation that was not a very good sign.   “That old gaffer who delivers the post out here is as slow as molasses in a heavy frost.”  Merry paused in confusion.  “Pippin, how can the post have anything to do with that key?”

Diamond, who was now dressed if rather hurriedly, in a flowered frock, her hair down over her shoulders, entered the room and took Pippin’s hand in hers and squeezed it.  Pippin was instantly rendered speechless.  Diamond said rather shyly, “I thought the post here worked as it does at home and so I wrote a lovely romantic note for Pippin explaining, though not entirely, the use for the key, put the key in with it, wrapped it in a neat little package and mailed it to him.”

Merry went blood red while the color seemed to drain from Estella’s face.  Pippin was still squeezing Diamond’s hand and trying not to explode right there in the parlor.  The sight of his, as yet unbedded bride in a dress, which hugged her curves and swayed about her lovely form as she moved, was driving him wild with desire.  He was very grateful that his shirt was covering his groin.

“You mailed it?” Merry whispered hoarsely.  “You wrapped it and mailed it?”

“I know it was foolish of me but I thought it rather romantic at the time,” Diamond said in an embarrassed voice.  “I never dreamed of the pain it would cause me later.”

“Or of the pain it might cause anyone else,” Merry said clenching his hands at his sides.

“I’ll be fine if my company will ever leave and allow me to celebrate my wedding properly,” Pippin said a bit testily, mistaking Merry’s remark about the pain of others as being about him.  “As completely grateful as I am, I would be even more grateful if _”

Estella shot Merry a quick glance, sighed and then spoke softly to Diamond as if the two frustrated lads weren’t within hearing.  “Diamond, while you were visiting the post and trying on your wedding frock, I went back to the shop where you purchased your lovelock and I, well, I may have bought something too.” Estella was embarrassed to admit this to Diamond since she had given the younger lass a bit of a dressing down after they’d left the shop.

Diamond arched an eyebrow and then winked.  “You got one too?”

“Well,” Estella began but Merry quickly interrupted her. 

“It does explain why we are so very interested in what’s become of your key now, doesn’t it?” Merry said, neither agreeing with Diamond’s assertion that Estella had purchased the same item that she had nor denying it.  If it could work for Estella then it could most certainly work for him too.  He might just get out of this without having to completely embarrass himself.

“It does, but Estella told me herself that she didn’t need any such item,” Diamond frowned.  “She said that she didn’t want to feel as if she were locked away for safe keeping and that she would never surrender control to anyone in that way.”

Merry glared at his wife.  “That’s all very interesting, I’m sure but the point here is_”

“She said that sex was a wonderful thing between two adults-“

“I may never know for sure but it certainly does sound as if it would be entertaining,” Pippin broke in but everyone ignored him.

“She said that part of the fun of sex was to feel free and in control and to feel-“

“Quit using the word feel so often, Diamond,” Pippin winced.

“So you wouldn’t want to give up control?” Merry frowned at Estella.

“Well, I was trying to convince Diamond that she didn’t need to buy a lovelock for her wedding night is all, Merry, I-“

“You were very firm about it!” Diamond said. 

“I have something that’s extremely firm about now,” Pippin muttered.

Merry shifted uncomfortably and felt the velvet slide over his cock and he bit the inside of his lip to keep from moaning and forced his hands into his pockets to keep them from seeking to comfort his miserable groin.  The trousers that he was wearing hid his difficult situation from view but did nothing to relieve it.  Beside of Diamond, Pippin adjusted his shirttail again and grimaced.

“Estella, I can’t believe that you actually bought one of those,” Diamond sighed.  “Yours must fit better than mine did because you don’t seem at all uncomfortable.  You look as if you aren’t wearing anything at all!  Right now, I can’t even stand to wear my normal short clothes thanks to that contraption that I bought.”

“Oh, that’s it!” Pippin groaned and he doubled over a bit.  “You’re not wearing anything under that frock?”

“I’m not naked, Pippin.  I’m just not wearing under-things presently,” Diamond said.  “Besides, I was talking mostly about Estella.  What I mean is that she doesn’t seem to be felling anything tight around her-“

Pippin covered her mouth with a hand and her eyes went wide with surprise.  He looked at Merry.  “You and Estella had a wedding night.  If Estella isn’t in any pain then couldn’t we all go round to the post in the morning and I’ll pick up the package-“

“That may be too late for my package,” Merry muttered under his breath.

Pippin frowned.  “Surely you can hold off one night without going at it.  I mean you’ve had it before and I_”

“That’s getting too close to being entirely too personal!” Estella objected.

Pippin let his hand fall from Diamond’s mouth and she looked at him accusingly.  “What was that?”

“That was self-defense,” Pippin said.  “I have had an erection since I found out that we had a key to set you free and I really need to do something with it before it all explodes back into my insides and destroys me completely with its force.”

Diamond frowned.  “You do know we have company just now, don’t you?”

“I am painfully aware of that,” Pippin sighed.

“Now, tell me why yours fits so much better than mine did?” Diamond frowned at Estella.  Beside her Pippin slapped his forehead and looked daggers at Merry who was trying not to move for fear of cause the velvet to shift again.

“Why don’t we all sit down and-“ Estella started to suggest but she was greeted with a resounding chorus of 'Nos'.

“I can’t just now thanks to that lovelock,” Diamond explained.

“I’m afraid if any of you sit down that you’ll never leave,” Pippin said.  “Not to be unkind but I am about to toss my new bride onto parlor sofa and go at it right in front of you insensitive hobbits!”

“If we insensitive hobbits then we would not have dropped by and brought you that key.  Without our visit, you’d still have no hope of ‘going at it’ as you say,” Estella reminded him.

“And I’m thankful, but I am also very painfully aware of a certain desire to spend time getting to know my bride,” Pippin said glaring at Estella now. 

“You just got married.  You have plenty of time,” she said waving a hand at him.

“Exactly!  We just got married and we’ve spent a large part of our wedding night trying to think of ways to remove a pair of metal knickers without a key and another part of it entertaining unwanted guests,” Pippin said.

“I’m going to die here in a minute,” Merry muttered but no one was listening.

Pippin and Estella were entirely too busy arguing and Diamond was still intently studying Estella and trying to figure things out.

“We should have left you without that key for all the good it did us!” Estella fired back at Pippin.

“I just can’t believe that you bought one of those after everything you said to me,” Diamond broke in.  Suddenly she looked at Merry who was trying to slowly shift his position so that he could slide one of his hands over to ease his aching groin without being noticed.  “Merry!” Diamond fairly shouted and everyone turned to stare at Merry who moved to attention quickly and sent velvet fabric across his erection with a speed that nearly killed him on the spot.  He whimpered a bit.

“You bought the other one!” Diamond said looking at Estella smugly.  “You would never have bought the one that I did but you bought the other one instead.”

Pippin scratched his head and frowned.  “So what?  It comes in different fashions and she got another one?  It must be the comfortable model and so she’ll be fine until the morning but I may be dead by then.  I might just as well find a new use for my willie because I don’t think I’m going to get any sex any time soon.”

Estella was looking almost as pained as Merry now as she tried to avert her gaze from Diamond’s.  “You bought Merry a lovelock and you were hoping that I had that key as yours didn’t work!” Diamond said with a satisfied nod of her head.

Pippin’s mouth fell open and he gaped at Merry.  “She talked you into wearing one of those?” He pointed to Estella.

“It would have been fine if Diamond hadn’t decided to mail her key to you!” Estella shouted while Merry turned at least nine shades redder.

“You mean that you are locked into-“

“One more word, Pippin and it will be your last so if you don’t want to die a virgin then you’ll close your mouth for once,” Merry growled menacingly.  "I've needed to take my considerable frustration out on someone for hours and hours now and so if you don't want to provide me with a reason to punch you, you'll keep quiet."  His discomfort had reached an all-time high between his embarrassment at being found out and the velvet shifting as he moved.  He gave up all hope of retaining his dignity, turned his back on the others, rapidly unbuttoned his trousers and took one hand and began to rub his crotch furiously in an effort to stop some of his agony.

“Oh, my,” Diamond murmured averting her gaze as Pippin swallowed hard and gently touched his own crotch in sympathy for Merry's situation and out of graditude that he still had full access to his own penis.

“It’s lined with this velvet and it seems to sort of rub certain things and tickle them and-“

“Oh, I beg you to stop now,” Pippin groaned.  “Merry is at least getting a rub for his trouble.”

“I have been getting a rub for hours now,” Merry growled.  “The trouble here is that I can’t pull this thing off and allow nature to follow its course.  I have to keep pulling back and I am dying slowly.  You do have the option of relieving your troubles with a good right hand.  I can’t do anything but try not to excite it and this velvet fabric feels like tiny fingers moving in all the right directions.”

“That’s it!” Pippin groaned and he took Diamond by the hand and began pulling her toward the bedroom door.  “Someone about this place is having sex tonight and if I have any say in it, it will be me.  Amuse yourselves and we will be back directly. In my present state, this won’t take long!”

“Merry?” Estella whispered putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me, please,” Merry begged.  “Just see if you can find something to pick this lock with.  I can't wait for that slow old gaffer from the Tuckborough post to get out of this.  There has to be another way.”  He rubbed the chain mail and grimmaced.  "There has to be."

“But Pippin and Diamond are-“

“I know and when the moaning starts that may be all I can stand so you best move quickly, dearest,” Merry said between gritted teeth.

Estella’s eyes widened and she began to search the parlor for a likely object.  Merry continued to try to comfort his groin as best he could without exciting it further. He knew quite well how effective chain mail was as a protection and so he wasn't likely to escape without some sort of key for this blasted thing. As he stood there suffering he wondered if Dwarves had anything at all like this. Gimli did seem to have a great deal of chain mail that he wore all of the time. Perhaps that explained why Gimli was never in a very good mood.

Suddenly, Diamond was back in the room again.  “I know what it’s like Merry and I can’t stand to think of you suffering so,” she said standing behind him.  I’ve told Pippin to saddle a pony and ride into town and find that old Gaffer who has my package!”

“I’m sure he was thrilled by that idea,” Estella said trying not to smile.

“It seems that finding Pippin’s package may be the only way I can get some relief for mine,” Merry groaned.  “I just hope that Pippin hurries.

At this point, Pippin stalked by Merry.  “I’m looking forward to the ride.  The motion of a pony is about as close as I’m getting to sex until everyone else has everything they need.”

As the door slammed Diamond said, “It’s been a bit rough on him.  He doesn’t mean to be angry with you.  It’s only that thanks to my time spent in one of those, I’m a bit too sore to, well, put it this way, even if you left now, Pippin would still be frustrated.”

“After we get the key, he may want to try this out,” Merry grimaced still trying his best to get into some sort of comfortable position but having no success. 


The Key to Happiness

Merry didn’t die.  He thought he might but he managed to find a solution to his pain or rather Estella found it.  She retrieved a cup of cold water from the well outside and proceeded to pour it onto the groin area of Merry’s lovelock.  The shock caused Merry’s excited erection to run for cover. The water made its way through the chain mail on the outside and soaked the velvet completely.  This killed its ability to render Merry weak-kneed and moaning and left him damp and uncomfortable.  He was completely satisfied with the trade off and adjusted his trousers to a modest position and sat on a wooden chair at the Took’s table.  His damp trousers made sitting on the sofa a bad idea. 

Worried that Merry might need more water before Pippin returned, Diamond brought an entire pitcher in and sat it on the table embarrassingly close to hand.  Merry knew that she was only trying to help but he still felt completely mortified by all of this.

Estella had turned repentant and insisted on apologizing to Merry every change that she got.  This furthered Merry’s embarrassment because Estella kept forgetting herself and mentioning moments of sheer torment in front of Diamond.

“Even riding your own pony pains you and it’s all my doing,” Estella sighed.  “I should never have insisted that you do this for me.  I wouldn’t blame you if you never spoke to me again after this is finally over.”

Merry found himself wondering if it would ever be over.  It was past second breakfast and Pippin had yet to return.  While Merry’s circumstance was greatly improved by the water, he was beginning to need to take care of another pressing matter and he desperately hoped that Pippin would return before he was forced to relieve himself while wearing this contraption.

“I felt so dreadful when you tried to climb up on the pony and-“

“Estella, even if Diamond can tolerate a recounting of my more painful moments, I really can’t just now,” Merry groaned.  He shifted his position and felt a tiny tingle of sensation.  The velvet was drying out quickly and would soon be ready for action.  Merry eyed the pitcher with a mixture of emotions.  The water would solve one problem but most likely bring on another.  “Where is Pippin and what is taking so long?” Merry sighed.

“Well, that dear old Gaffer that everyone here about is so fond of has probably not shown up yet,” Diamond sighed.

“They should make him retire and get someone younger for the job,” Merry muttered crossly.

“Well, it can’t be long now,” Estella said trying to sound cheerful which annoyed Merry all the more.  Let her sit about on a wooden chair in damp trousers hoping not to wet herself and see how cheerful she remains!

“I do hope he hasn’t got lost or anything,” Diamond frowned.

“He grew up here and has lived somewhere in the Tooklands all of his life,” Estella sighed.  “I am extremely sure that he isn’t lost.”

"Then where is he?" Merry grumbled, feeling the pressure to urinate grow a bit stronger. He pulled his eyes away from the water pitcher. It was not a good idea to spend too much time looking at water just now. Merry also found that he wanted a drink very much but that was most certainly out of the question! One sip of water and he would be undone.


“He’ll hurry if he can,” Diamond said.  “I’ve told him that we can’t do anything proper until he gets things set right.  I am the one that should have had to go into town for that key, but I doubt that I can ride just now.”  She blushed as she spoke.

Merry noticed that Diamond hadn’t sat down all morning and the lass was beginning to look longingly at the comfortable sofa each time she passed it.  Estella was seated on the sofa.   In fact Estella was the only hobbit in the parlor who was still comfortable. Why did this annoy Merry so?

There was a knock on the door and Merry got up and hurried into the kitchen as Diamond went to answer it.  It couldn’t be Pippin because Pippin would not have knocked on the door of his own smial.  Merry had his unfortunate confinement fairly well concealed but the damp trousers would still leave him with some explaining to do.

“Oh, hullo, sir,” Diamond said pleasantly as she opened the door.  “May I help you?”

Estella moved up next to her and smiled.  “Diamond this is one of the Shirriffs here in the Tooklands,” Estella said.

“Afternoon, Estella,” the Shirriff greeted her.  “Mrs. Took.”

“Please call me Diamond,” Diamond said in spite of the fact that she was thrilled to be called Mrs. Took by anyone.

“Well, as I’m here on official business I don’t expect I ought to this time,” he said sounding slightly nervous.

“Official business?” Estella frowned.

“It’s about Mrs. Took’s husband,” the shirriff said formally.

Diamond and Estella both paled and Merry, who had been eaves’ dropping in the kitchen quickly tied a rather flowery pink towel about his waist in an effort to hide his damp trousers and hurried out of the kitchen.

“Merry,” the Shirriff grinned looking down at the towel.  “Good thing you’re here.  I’ll feel better about this business with you here.”

“What business?  Is Pippin hurt?” Diamond ‘s voice was anxious.

“Not too bad,” the shirriff smiled.  “Only a few bruises.”

“What happened and where is he?” Merry questioned the shirriff who couldn’t seem to quit looking at Merry’s towel.  Merry followed the shirriff’s gaze and said quickly, “I was doing a bit of cooking and these are my good trousers.  But that’s not terribly important.  Mrs. Took is rather worried and it would be good if you would answer her questions.”

“Oh, beg your pardon, Mrs. Took,” the shirriff said embarrassed.  “I brought him in the wagon,” the shirriff grinned.  “We use it when we go out to pick up mischief-makers or to bring drunken hobbits home safely.  By rights I should ‘a held him for 24 hours but I figure since he’s a new husband and the Thain’s lad I can make allowances this once.”

“Did you arrest him?” Estella wanted to know.

“Had to,” the shirriff said.  “Both him and that fellow that runs that shop, well, you lasses wouldn’t know anything about that place.  It isn’t the kind of place that decent folk trade in.  We would have closed him down ages ago but there’s no law against selling, well, the items aren’t harmful, but all the same I’d like to see him out of business and apparently so would Pippin.”

Merry wanted to tell the shirriff that he personally had been harmed by at least one item from that shop, and was currently in a pure agony because of something from that shop, but he wasn’t about to do that.  As both Diamond and Estella blushed and tried to hide their embarrassment over having been in the very shop, Merry said, “I think that whatever he’s done, you can release Pippin into his new bride’s care.  They were just married yesterday, you know.”

“Lovely wedding too,” the shirriff grinned.  “Me and my wife were there.  Had a grand time of it.”

“Thank you,” Diamond smiled.

“My point is that I am sure Diamond can keep an eye on Pippin and if not, Estella and I are visiting for a while.  We came from Buckland for the wedding,” Merry smiled.

“I’ll just bring him in then,” the shirriff said.  “Lad completely lost his temper and he punched that shopkeeper right in the eye.  The shopkeeper punched him back and it was quite a row, but-“

“Could you bring him on in so that his wife will know he’s all right?” Merry interrupted.  His real need for Pippin was much more urgent and if the shirriff didn’t hurry, not even the Took’s kitchen towel would be enough to soak up the donation Merry was about to leave.  He had to get that key quickly.

The shirriff went out to the wagon and Merry, Diamond and Estella watched as the shirriff pulled Pippin from the rear of the wagon and began leading him to the smial by an arm.  Pippin’s hands appeared to be secured behind him.  The shirriff had a bag in his other hand and when he reached the door.  Pippin looked at Merry and said, “The post is in that bag.”

Merry nearly snatched the bag from the slightly confused shirriff and peered into it at the letters and the one, neatly wrapped package in the center of it all.  Merry had to fight to remain where he was so that the shirriff would not think he had taken leave of his senses.

“Could you unfasten his hands, please?” Diamond requested.  “Oh, Merry will you please put that post in the kitchen for us.  That one package is very important.”  She leaned her head toward the kitchen and winked at Merry.

“I’d be happy to do that,” Merry grinned far too enthusiastically and quickly left the room.  The velvet was definitely drying.

Estella looked at Diamond and then at Pippin and then at the shirriff.  “This is private.  I’ll go help Merry in case he has any problems with anything,” Estella said and left to find Merry.

“Most be awful important post,” the shirriff grinned.

“Sometimes it’s the little things that count for the most,” Diamond said.  "We were expecting some key information in this post. Now, can you kindly release my new husband into my care?" She smiled at her own joke while Pippin tried not to laugh.




***



By the time Merry and Estella returned to the parlor the Shirriff had gone.  Merry was finally free of his lovelock and had hurried to the far end of the garden and relieved himself.  He had just managed to hold it in and was unable to wait until he could locate a proper privy.

Estella was still apologizing and Merry was no longer angry.  Having that velvet torture device removed from his loins was enough to make him forgive nearly everything.  When he and Estella came back into the parlor Diamond was sitting slightly sideways on the sofa looking at Pippin who was leaned back against the corner of the sofa at an odd angle.  He looked rather sheepish and slightly uncomfortable.  He had a small cut above one eye and a bruise was growing on his jaw line but he seemed unharmed.

“Lost your temper and popped him did you?” Merry asked.

“You have everything sorted out now?” Pippin retorted crossly.

“I do and I can honestly say that I never want to try that again,” Merry sighed.

“Why did you hit him?” Estella said getting back to the topic at hand.

“He was coming out of his shop and he spotted me and grinned,” Pippin scowled.  “Then he says, ‘So some wedding night wasn’t it?  I told your wife that was a sturdy lock so I do hope you didn’t hold back.’  I wanted to tell him that I’d been holding back all evening but instead I couldn’t help myself.  I hit him.”

“I think you did the right thing even if it did get you a ride home with the shirriff,” Merry grinned.  “In fact, I wouldn’t mind taking a swing at that shopkeeper myself.”

“Why are you sitting on your hands, Pippin?” Estella asked curiously.

Diamond lowered her head and tried to hide her smile while Pippin got to his feet and turned around so that Merry and Estella could see the situation for themselves. 

“You mean to tell me that the shirriff is making you leave those cuffs on?” Estella blurted.  “I don’t think that’s legal, is it Merry?”

“We aren’t in Buckland at the moment and there are some interesting laws on this side of the water, especially in the Tooklands,” Merry reasoned as he reached over and examined the heavy cuffs that were currently around Pippin’s wrists.

Pippin mumbled something in reply but it wasn’t exactly clear.

“What?” Merry said not sure he’d heard properly.

“After they pulled me off of the shopkeeper who ruined my wedding night, they cuffed me.  The Shirriff said now that I was so tall it was the only safe thing to do until I calmed down at bit.  So they took me off to the see the head shirriff and he agreed that I could come home but he told the shirriff who was bringing me to leave the cuffs on in case I got rowdy.  He said that if someone wasn’t here that the shirriff was to cart me up to the Great Smials and give me to my father,” Pippin said now facing his audience.

“That would have been interesting,” Merry grinned.

“It would have,” Pippin sighed.  “I can hear myself explaining how I hit a shopkeeper because I haven’t managed to have sex with my wife thanks to something that he sold to her and that my older cousin wasn’t leaving my smial until I retrieved a key that he needed thanks to another of this shopkeeper’s items.”

“None of this explains the cuffs,” Merry challenged.

“Well, the shirriff put me in the wagon and brought me and the post that I was so insistent that he not forget, home,” Pippin sighed.  “In his effort to remember my post and to get me home with as few curious stares as possible, he left the keys to these cuffs back on his desk.”

Merry grinned.  “Is he coming back?”

“As soon as he makes his rounds and has a chance to find his keys,” Pippin said.  “Until then, I’m stuck in these.”

Estella giggled and then gave Diamond a wink.  “I hear that cuffs can be rather entertaining in the bed chamber if used properly.”

Diamond widened her eyes and then looked at Pippin.  “Want to play a game of shirriff and prisoner?” She winked.

“What is with all of this winking?” Merry frowned.

“I’d like an answer to that as well,” Pippin said.

“I saw the shopkeeper do it and for some reason I just picked it up,” Estella shrugged.

“That’s it!” Diamond said.  “I wasn’t sure where it had started but now I know.”

“Let’s try not to pick anything else up from that particular shopkeeper again shall we?” Merry said dryly.

“I wonder if the shirriff guarantees his locks too?” Pippin said testing the cuffs in annoyance.  “So far they seem to be of very good quality.”

Diamond smiled.  “I do feel up to some fun and games and for some reason I like you with your hands secured behind your back, Pippin.”

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Merry smiled draping an arm around Estella’s shoulders.  “You need anything at all before we go, Cousin?”

“A file or maybe some keys for these cuffs,” Pippin said embarrassed.  “My nose itches.”

“That always happens when you can’t reach something,” Merry said as he reached over and scratched Pippin nose for him.  “I had an itch earlier myself that I could reach.  Be glad it’s only that pointed beak of yours that itches.”

Pippin sighed.  “It’s going to be supper time before that shirriff comes back out here.  What am I going to do until then?”

Giggling, Diamond reached over and tugged on the chain that linked the cuffs together and began to lead Pippin to the bedroom.  “You’ve been a naughty lad and as the one who’s been left in charge of you I think it’s my responsibility to teach you some proper manners.”

Grinning wide enough to show most of his teeth, Pippin followed his new bride to their bedroom while Merry and Estella quietly let themselves out.

The End

GW     04/01/2006


~~~~~~~~~~


I completely forgot to post a disclaimer on this one and so here it is after the fact.  For ‘any’ of you who might be misguided enough to believe that these are my characters, I want to let you know that they aren’t.  The characters in this story were created by and are the property of J.R.R. Tolkien.  I am making no money whatsoever from this story.  Oh, and don’t tell Tolkien what I’ve done with his hobbits this time.  I doubt he’d be pleased.  Thanks for reading!

GW     04/01/2006



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