More about a certain fountain:
“Hullo, Diamond,” Pippin grinned as he entered their bedroom and began to remove his travel cloak. “Tis cold out today and I fear that winter is not far off.” He smiled at her and put his cloak on the hook near the door.
“Then I should think it would be far too cold to be out without so much as a stitch on,” Diamond said from her seat at the small table in the corner of the room.
Pippin grinned and shook his head. “It would be far too cold for that. Do we know anyone who was thinking of trying it?” He raised an eyebrow and looked over at his wife with amusement.
“Well, certainly no one that I know,” Diamond said, folding her arms over her chest and giving a nod to the floor in front of her. “They may be friends of your, though.”
Pippin followed her gaze to a rather large, wooden box that was sitting on the floor in front of her. The box looked far too heavy for Diamond to have placed it there. It was at least three feet high and about four feet wide. He wondered how he could have failed to see it when he came in. “What’s that?” he asked, coming over to have a look.
“Well, a couple of dwarves came by the Smial this afternoon and they had this great box with them,” Diamond said, getting up to stand between Pippin and the box. “It seems they were to make a delivery, a gift from Legolas.”
“Legolas sent that?” Pippin said, excited. “What is it? Why did he send it?” Pippin tried to look around her, but she kept moving in front of him. “Diamond, let me see.”
“I shouldn’t really, and I may be quite put out with Legolas,” Diamond said, sternly. “I don’t think this is a proper gift to send to a married hobbit.”
Pippin’s eyes widened and he looked at his slim, dark-haired wife. “What’s improper about it?”
“Well, first of all, I don’t like you getting packages that only you are permitted to open,” Diamond said.
“I don’t think I understand,” Pippin frowned, still trying to sneak a peek at the mysterious contents of the box and failing.
“When it was delivered, the dwarves didn’t want to leave it at first,” Diamond said. “They said that it was for you and that they had been instructed to leave it with you only. I told them that I was your wife, but they still seemed to think that they should wait for you to return. One of them actually had the nerve to look over at the other one and say, ‘are you sure we should trust her with this?’ and frankly I was a wee bit offended!” Diamond sniffed and looked away from Pippin.
Pippin put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her. “Well, I certainly didn’t tell anyone one that you couldn’t be trusted, honestly. I don’t even know what this is about, Diamond,” he said, trying to get her to look at him.
She relented and looked up at him as if studying him to see if he were telling the truth. “Well, it was quite annoying, Pippin. They seemed to think that they couldn’t leave this great box here unless they left it with you!” she said, still sounding hurt.
“Well, are they still about? I could have a word with them,” Pippin said. “I could tell them that you are my wife and that anything that they have for me, they can leave it with you. I trust you.”
She smiled at him brightly. “I knew that you did,” she said, and pulled him toward her and kissed him on the end of his nose. “I told them you did and finally they agreed to leave the box with me. I had them bring it in here.”
“Well, that’s alright, then,” Pippin grinned. “No harm done if they saw reason.” He started to move around her toward the box but she blocked his way again.
“I still think we should send them some sort of a note about it, something stern,” Diamond said, pushing him back a step from the box. “They weren’t terribly friendly and I know that they didn’t really want to leave the box with me. I suspect that it was all Legolas’s fault.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t think so,” Pippin said. “Dwarves can be very unusual. They aren’t like us at all, Diamond. What we think of as rude, well, they don’t see as rude at all. Legolas has very nice manners and so I don’t think it could hardly be his fault, but because their customs are so different, well, the Dwarves may have done something to offend you without meaning to.”
‘Well, when you see what Legolas has sent, then you may see what I mean,” Diamond said with a sniff. “That elf has gone and sent you something highly improper, Peregrin Took!”
Pippin swallowed hard. “He has? Are you sure it is meant for me?”
She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out an envelope and waved it in front of Pippin’s face. “Peregrin Took. It says so right on the envelope!” She thrust it at him.
Pippin looked down at the envelope and frowned. “That’s for me then,” he said, studying his name intently. He looked over at his wife and asked, “What does it say?”
“You think that I read that?’ Diamond asked, insulted.
“Well, I certainly would have if it had come for you,” Pippin admitted.
“Well, I may have read a bit of it,” Diamond said. “But you really should read it as it is your letter.”
He nodded and opened it and began to read it out loud much to Diamond’s satisfaction.
Dear Pippin,
I am sending you something from Rivendell that I suspect you will enjoy. It isn’t the original one, but a smaller replica. When I saw it, I remembered how fond you were of the original one during your stay there and I convinced Lord Elrond to allow me to send it to you. He, also, thought that it was the perfect gift. I do hope that you will find a suitable place for this and that it will bring you as much enjoyment as the original one did. Please explain to Merry that there was only one of these when you show it to him.
Do give my warmest regards to your family, to Merry and his family, and to Sam and his family also. Gimli says to say hello for him too. I will make this short as we are continuing our travels early in the morning. Until we are able to meet again, I hope this brings joy to you.
Sincerely,
Legolas
“Well, that was a very nice letter,” Pippin said, with a smile at Diamond.
“I suppose,” she sighed.
“Well, may I see what he sent?” Pippin asked, looking as anxious as a small child at a birthday party. “I mean, it is my gift.”
“I suppose so, but you have quite a bit of explaining to do,” Diamond warned him as she moved aside so that he could get to the box.
Pippin ignored the part about explaining and fell to his knees in front of the box. The lid was askew and so it was easy to slide it the rest of the way off. “How did you open this?” Pippin asked.
“I had one of the servants bring me a pry bar,” Diamond said, sitting back down in the chair next to the table to watch Pippin. “It was a bit hard to get the lid off, but I didn’t want anyone else to see and so I had to do it myself.”
Pippin grinned at the lettering on the top of the box that clearly read: FOR PEREGRIN TOOK ONLY! He smiled at his wife and said, “Naturally, as it was private, you couldn’t let the servants see it.”
“Naturally,” Diamond agreed. Then she quickly added, “If it had been for me, you would have opened it.”
“I most certainly would have,” Pippin said. “I can’t blame you for that. It would have been too much of a temptation. Any self-respecting Took would have opened it.”
She smiled at him and watched him reach into the box to remove the straw packing that she had replaced after she had looked the gift over carefully. Pippin tossed the packing about their room carelessly in an effort to get to his gift. Finally, when he was surrounded by straw, his eyes widened and he stared open-mouthed into the box. “Oh, my,” he murmured as he ran a finger along the top of the statue.
“Oh, my indeed!” Diamond said. “You see what I mean when I say that you have some explaining to do?”
“Yes,” Pippin said, softly, still transfixed.
“Well?”
“Well, what?’
“Explain,” Diamond said. “Explain to me why Legolas thought that you might enjoy this.”
Pippin grinned over at his wife and said, “I should think that that much is obvious. All you have to do is look at it to know that I would enjoy it.” He looked back into the box and grinned wider. “Merry will be so jealous!”
Diamond sighed, “Who are those lasses and why are they now in my bedroom?”
Pippin grinned up at her. “These are some very wicked elf lasses and they are here because Legolas has a very nasty sense of humor. He probably sent this to me to get me into trouble with you.”
“He may have succeeded,” Diamond said, looking at him sternly, but with mischief in her eyes.
Pippin tried to look innocent and failed. It was very hard to look innocent when sitting next to a statue of several naked elf maidens. He gave up his efforts and chuckled. “When I was in Rivendell for the very first time, I found a very large fountain with this statue on the top of it. I had to climb up it in order to see it properly because it was so high off of the ground,” Pippin said. “In fact, I hadn’t been able to see it at all from the ground.”
“Then why did you climb up?” Diamond asked.
“I wanted to see where the water was coming from,” Pippin said. “I was exploring and so I decided to have a closer look at how the fountain worked. I was alone at the time because Merry was still asleep and I got tired of waiting for him and went off on my own.”
“And so you climbed a fountain,” Diamond said.
“I did,” Pippin grinned. “And I got quite a surprise when I got to the top. There it was, this statue of all of these lovely elf maidens just like this and all of them completely naked.”
“I am surprised that you didn’t fall off of the fountain,” Diamond said.
“Well, I did, but not then,” Pippin said, sheepishly. “Then I just sat there and studied them for quite a while until Merry came and asked me to get down. He was afraid that we might get into trouble.”
“So, did you get down?” Diamond asked.
“No, I convinced Merry to join me,” Pippin said. “He will be very glad to see this statue and very jealous that I have it.” Pippin reached over and picked up the pry bar and began to carefully remove the side of the box so that the statue was completely exposed. He then sat in front of it and stared at it intently.
Diamond frowned at it. It was a rose-colored stone statue of several elf maidens wearing only a bit of ribbon in places. The maidens were quite naked and were in rather rude poses. One of them seemed to be bent over backward. “What makes you think that you will be keeping this?” she asked.
Pippin looked up at her, startled. “Well, it was a gift, Princess.” He used his pet name for her in the hope of winning a smile from her.
She did not smile. “And so you expect to keep these naughty lasses in our bedroom? Or maybe you might like to build your own fountain out on the lawn in front of the Great Smials for all of the Tooklands to enjoy?”
“I don’t think my mum would be too happy with that idea,” Pippin shuddered. “No, I think we should keep this to ourselves.”
“I think we ought to box it up and send it back to Legolas,” Diamond said.
“You do?” Pippin said, looking hurt. “You’d really send it back?”
“Peregrin Took! Do not give me that sad-eyed look just now,” Diamond said. “I am not in the mood for it.” She shifted and looked away from him. “What wife in her right mind would allow her husband to keep a thing such as that?”
Pippin abandoned the statue and moved over on his knees to kneel in front of her chair. “I suppose that if you don’t truly like it, then we can send it back,” he said softly. “I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
She continued to look away from him and he took her hands in his. “I only thought that it might be interesting to have it,” he said.
“Interesting for whom?” Diamond asked, looking at him now.
“Well, for us,” Pippin said, smiling. “I mean there are things that those lasses are doing that I would love to see you do.” He continued to grin at her wickedly.
“Peregrin Took! You are quite shameless,” she said, trying not to smile.
“Yes, well, I am very fond of that one that is bent over backward,” he said, arching an eyebrow at her. “I can imagine you very like that.”
She leaned over, putting her nose against his, and said, “Oh, you can, can you?”
“I can indeed,” Pippin said. “In fact, I’ve had many happy moments imagining just that very thing over the years.”
“Before you got this gift?” Diamond said, backing away a bit.
“Yes, I had seen the original statue and so I could imagine you just like that,” Pippin said, still smiling at her.
“And who do you imagine as the other lasses?” Diamond asked.
“They are all you,” Pippin said. “In fact, the statue in my imagination is completely you in every way.” He ran his hand over her thigh and attempted to raise her skirt.
She caught him by the wrist and held him there. “I am expected to believe that you only think of me when you look at that statue?”
“You are,” Pippin said. “The first time I saw it, I didn’t know you and so it was just some very interesting, very naked elf-maidens, but from the moment I met you, it was always you that I saw when I thought of it.” He took his other hand and placed it in her hair and pulled her toward him.
“That was hardly proper before we were married, Pippin,” Diamond murmured, as she allowed herself to be pulled forward.
“I know, and I am deeply ashamed of myself for it, but I did think of it that way,” Pippin said, pulling her over on top of him and falling back onto the floor amid the straw packing. “I was a wicked lad in my youth.”
“You are still quite wicked,” Diamond said, running her hands through his curls as she lay on top of him. “You need constant watching.”
“I do,” Pippin agreed. “I also need to see you naked.”
She widened her eyes and said, “You saw me naked this morning, Peregrin Took.”
“Well, its afternoon now,” Pippin said. “I need to see you naked again.”
She giggled at him. “Even if I won’t let you keep that thing?”
“Especially if you won’t let me keep it,” Pippin said. “I mean if I’m not to see you naked, I must see someone naked and though the elf-maidens are a very poor substitute for you, they would be all I would have. If you are not going to allow me to keep them, then I shall need to see you naked.”
“You are not the only one here with needs,” Diamond said, softly.
“You may see me naked any time you like,” Pippin grinned at her. “And if you want me to, I shall even come to dinner naked.”
“In the dining hall?” Diamond asked.
“In the dining hall,” Pippin agreed.
“You would, wouldn’t you?” Diamond said, sighing. “What do you suggest that we do with your statue?”
“We could keep it in our private bathing room for inspiration,” Pippin said, brightly.
“Inspiration?” Diamond asked.
“Yes, we could move it in there and then from time to time, you could bend over backwards and spit water from your lovely mouth like a fountain,” Pippin said.
“And what, might I ask, will you do for me?” Diamond asked him.
“Anything you like, my Princess,” Pippin said. “Anything you like.”
The End !
GW 03/06/2005
